To the 42-year-old man’s wife who, when I told you that your husband had died, whispered tearfully over the phone, “No, I can’t come in now — I don’t think I could bear it,” I am so sorry for your loss. I did not know your husband, because he was asleep, deep in a medicated coma for the two weeks I cared for him. But the staff who met him before he was intubated spoke of his cheerful demeanor.

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