Whenever I stray too far
from humor in this column it feels a little cringey, like an
episode of “Diff’rent Strokes” that mutes the laugh track and
tackles a serious issue. But sometimes up against a deadline, it
can be a little unavoidable, so please bear with me.
Last month, Margo and I were riding our bikes to Oakhurst Market
when I saw a man standing over his bicycle. As I was passing him,
he went down in a way that suggested he wasn’t just fainting from
the mid-July heat. I shouted ahead for Margo to stop.
I spent a hard second thinking about what happens next. For
months I have been in conscientious pandemic protocol – wearing a
mask and maintaining healthy distances, even from good friends.
Now, was I really about to perform CPR on a total stranger? My
father used to say the right thing to do is always the right thing
to do. Dad never lived through a pandemic but still, he was right.
Right?
Another bystander called 911 and relayed instructions to me. Two
breaths, thirty compressions, repeat. A couple from across the
street jumped in to help with the CPR. Paramedics arrived in three
minutes and we stepped back, desperate for a good outcome. But it
wasn’t meant to be.
My parents both died of sudden heart failure at ages not much
older than I am now, so this hit on some vulnerabilities like a
hammer. My heart ached for his family knowing the phone call they
were about to receive. Then my friend Julie (who works so hard
battling for all our lives at the CDC) strongly advised I wear a
mask at home until I could find out how the man tested for
COVID-19. That Sunday afternoon felt like an exclamation point on a
terrible year.
I couldn’t bear the thought of infecting anyone so in an
abundance of caution I traded residences with my mother-in-law.
Ever wise beyond her 10 years, Margo insisted the dog come with me
and I am so grateful she did. That first night was almost surreal
and entirely sleepless. Man, did I ever need the company of that
dog.
HIPAA laws prevented me from obtaining the man’s test result,
so the authorities said my best bet was to contact his next of kin.
And I learned that the 911 operator gave us outdated instructions.
Unless the paramedics cannot arrive imminently, they do not
recommend breaths anymore. In the age of COVID-19, they don’t
even want people doing compressions. I couldn’t imagine sitting
idly by, but this was still salt in the unique wound that is
2020.
A friend found a number for the widow. Reaching out to her felt
like one of those Raymond Carver stories where people’s problems
and co-dependencies collide in the most difficult ways. But she was
incredibly gracious, understanding and open. They had just returned
from a great trip to Maine. Her husband liked to ride his bike
around Oakhurst and visit friends. She brought flowers to my house
and invited me to the Zoom funeral. I was a stew of grief and
anxiety until she lifted me. People are amazing.
The man’s doctor even called me. Unfortunately, he was not
tested for COVID-19 at the hospital so I would need to await my own
results. She figured I was fine but since he had flown the day
before probably best to err on the side of caution. She took a few
minutes to relay how funny he was and what a reluctant patient he
could be. He seemed like a great guy.
The pandemic has been a towering affront to physical and social
norms for sure. But the events of this week (and a particularly
moving Zoom funeral) reminded me there is still so much compassion
and decency out there. And I feel fine – perhaps a bit of a
Netflix sloth at this point but fine. Another day or so and I’ll
have clearance to move back home. I can’t wait to hug my wife and
kids with a renewed hope that better days really do lie ahead.
Editor’s Note: We are happy to report that since Tim wrote
this column for our August print edition, he tested negative for
COVID-19 and is now back at home with his family.
Tim Sullivan grew up in a large
family in the Northeast and now lives with his small family in
Oakhurst. He can be reached at [email protected].
The post
TimmyDaddy: In the age of COVID-19, decency still prevails
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