NYC Health Department issues memo on ‘sex and COVID-19’: “You are your safest sex partner.”

NEW YORK, NY– Everyone is talking about how
unprecedented these times are. We haven’t lived through this type
of a response to a pandemic, so really we aren’t sure what to

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I’ll tell you one thing that I damn sure would never expect
though, and that’s for a politician to explain to me how I should
or shouldn’t be having sex.

You really can’t make this stuff up, folks.  And I’m

New York’s disgrace of a mayor, Bill de Blasio, seriously
issued a memo from his office to his residents on how to have sex
during the stay-at-home orders being issued all around the

My favorite part:

“You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will
not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex
toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after

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NYC health department approves of kissing
the homies good night

— brain mentality (@marx_knopfler)
March 21, 2020

Also, in case you’ve been wondering:

“COVID-19 has not yet been found in semen or vaginal

So there’s that.

I mean, thanks, I guess?

This isn’t exactly the type of information I want to get from
my mayor’s office, if he were mine (which would already suck
prior to this sex-ed lesson from him). If I needed or wanted to
hear this information, I would watch one of the endless
question-and-answer sessions with doctors about COVID-19.

There are PLENTY of other things that de Blasio’s office could
be focusing on during his free time, such as not continuing to send
the City of New York straight to hell. Actually treating the
city’s officers with respect, criminal justice reform, bail
reform, giving illegal immigrants driver’s licenses…so much to
change, so much time to do it now that everyone is stuck

While you’re inside, you might want to know, says the
Mayor’s memo:

“Take care during sex: Rimming (mouth on anus) might
spread COVID-19. Virus in feces may enter your

OMG I had a mouthful of ass while reading
this NYC Health guide to Covid-safe Sex and of course, responsible
New Yorker that I am, I IMMEDIATELY spat it out. Is there a five
second rule?

— BD WONG (@wongbd)
March 23, 2020

So no one put your mouth on anyone’s butt hole, ok?  Just for
a little while and then you can go back to business as usual.

Although, if you just can’t help yourself, de Blasio has a
solution for you:

“Condoms and dental dams can reduce contact with
saliva or feces, especially during oral or anal

Perhaps because he was met with extreme scrutiny, or perhaps
because he realized how incredibly stupid it is that he gave the OK
for it to be posted, the Sex and COVID-19 Disease memo has been
taken down from NYC’s Health Department website.

this is actually a great read and
surprisingly detailed

— maggie penman (@maggiepenman)
March 21, 2020

However, if you find yourself in desperate need of his advice,
you can still find the full memo

In other news, the same idiotic mayor is planning the release of
God knows how many jail inmates into the city because…the

While it isn’t exactly surprising given the fact that many
other big cities have made the same move, and de Blasio is about as
smart as a toothpick, it is still disappointing.

Especially when New York Police already had their
hands full
with the rising major crime rate as well as
“non-violent” offenders barely seeing the inside of the
jail’s intake room before they’re being let back out on the

23 inmates being released, another 200 being
considered amid NYC COVID-19 outbreak, de Blasio says

— PIX11 News (@PIX11News)
March 23, 2020

De Blasio said that he would be taking a hard (no pun intended)
look at the inmate population to determine who among them are
“vulnerable” in terms of health risks.

Last week, the mayor said in a
radio interview

“In the next 48 hours, we will identify any inmates
who need to be brought out because of either their own health
conditions — if they have any pre-existing conditions, etc. —
or because the charges were minor and we think it’s appropriate
to bring them out in this context.”

For good measure, he added:

“That said, we still need our criminal justice system
to function.”

It doesn’t exactly function well in normal times, so why would
a pandemic be any different?

While normal residents of the city are following de Blasio’s
“shelter in place” orders, criminals will, surely, be playing
by the rules too, right? After all, that is just the nature of
offenders, to do what’s best for the greater good.

Coronavirus News: Some “low-risk” inmates to
be released, NYC Mayor de Blasio says

— Eyewitness News (@ABC7NY)
March 23, 2020

The second it was announced that one jailer and one inmate have
tested positive for the China Virus in the City of New York. So, of
course, we must shut down all jails and send droves of criminals to
take over the streets. I just don’t understand the logic.

I feel like I’m playing my own broken record here because I
keep saying this, but it’s just another example of how the
Democrats are making sure they don’t let a crisis go to

The mayor was already doing all he could to keep criminals on
the streets, and now this is just a perfect excuse for him to speed
up the process. Meanwhile, all of the normal, non-criminal type
residents are going to have to worry even more about criminals
surrounding them, aside from everything else there is to worry
about right now.

Good luck law-abiding citizens, I guess.

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This is not the only example of the left exploiting the pandemic
to get what they want.

While America is waiting for President Trump’s emergency
stimulus package to pass, Democrats are once again playing

Over 200 House Democrats were on a phone call last week to
discuss a list of “provisions” they wanted to be included in
the trillion-dollar package.

On the call
, Majority Whip James Clyburn told caucus members
that the COVID-19 bill was “a tremendous opportunity to
restructure things to fit our vision.”

Keep in mind this package is designed to help the American
people who have been financially injured by the pandemic slowing
our economy.

Leave it to them to exploit this crisis in order to attempt to
get their way. Following Clyburn’s suggestion, Democrats blocked
the passage of the stimulus.

In order to approve the package, Democrats have demanded things
that have nothing to do with financial relief, including increased
bargaining powers for unions, environmental regulations for
airlines and more wind and solar tax credits.

This report is correct. Pelosi & Schumer
are willing to risk your life, your job, your retirement savings
for a radical, left-wing wish list that has nothing to do with this
virus. Disgraceful.

— Tom Cotton (@SenTomCotton)
March 23, 2020

What those things have to do with bringing some much-needed
relief to the American people, I don’t know.

According to The Hill
, other items Democrats intend to push
into the relief package include:

“[A] boost in infrastructure spending, an expansion of
Social Security benefits and funding for states to set up an
all-mail voting system in the event the pandemic extends into
November’s elections.”

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell originally laid out the
bill to include: Cash payments to individuals; low-cost loans for
small businesses; new funding to boost the health care system; and
a financial lifeline for the hardest hit industries, such as
aviation and cruise lines.

Not so shockingly, Nancy Pelosi abandoned her hurting
Californians to fly to Washington DC over the weekend and discuss
the demands.  By “discuss,” of course, I mean add to.

McConnell said
 the move was an “obstruction.” He also

“All of a sudden, the Democratic leader and the
speaker of the House shows up and we’re back to square

We’re fiddling here, fiddling with the emotions of the
American people, fiddling with the markets, fiddling with our
health care. The American people expect us to act

And I want everybody to fully understand if we aren’t
able to act, it’ll be because of our colleagues on the other side
continuing to dicker when the country expects us to come together
and address this problem.”


“Democrats won’t let us fund hospitals or save small
businesses unless they get to dust off the green New Deal.”

— Daily Caller (@DailyCaller)
March 23, 2020

That’s exactly what the American people expect right now.
Coming together regardless of what side of the aisle they sit on to
make sure we don’t lose America as we know it.

This is not a free-for-all political game, where democrats can
try to “restructure” America. This is about sustaining

McConnell said the proposal should be limited to addressing the
most “immediate economic damage created by the pandemic.”

He said:

“Anything that doesn’t address that pandemic, it
seems to me, should not be considered.”

That shouldn’t be debated at all, but of course,
Democrats aren’t one to ever let a crisis go to

Democrats claimed that they blocked the package because
it “favored corporations over working Americans.”

“This is not a juicy political

“This is a national emergency!”


Nancy and Chuck need to put their completely disgusting raw
partisan politics aside and HELP THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!

— Kayleigh McEnany (@kayleighmcenany)
March 23, 2020

Democrats argue that the $75 billion allocated to bail out
distressed companies, especially the travel and hospitality
industries, doesn’t help working Americans.

Republicans, however, say that helping distressed companies is
helping American workers, in that this will prevent more working
Americans from losing their jobs.

McConnell was visibly frustrated on the Senate floor. He told
his colleagues:

“The American people are watching this spectacle.
I’m told the futures market is down 5%. I’m also told that’s
when trading stops. So the notion that we have time to play games
here with the American economy and the American people is utterly

Monday morning, McConnell continued in his disapproval of the
Democrats’ actions over the weekend.

Mitch McConnell on Senate Floor on
Coronavirus bill negotiations:
– “Eleventh hour demands Democrats have decided are more
– “They ought to be embarrassed…talking about this like some
juicy political opportunity.”

— Jason Donner (@jason_donner)
March 23, 2020

McConnell said:

“They ought to be embarrassed. This is no time for
this nonsense.”

Fox News reported
 that a senior republican aide said:

“As Leader Schumer continues to hold up the
desperately-needed relief package, the last-minute list of demands
from Pelosi’s and Schumer’s ideological wish list are coming
into focus.”

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy appeared on Fox &
Friends on Monday morning, speaking of Pelosi:

“She cannot craft another bill. Time is of the
essence. People will lose their job today because of what Schumer
and the others are portraying and doing.”

McCarthy said that the bill
was progressing
 along just fine among both sides of the aisle
until Pelosi and Schumer came to stop it:

“This is a different process. It was the leaders that
came and stopped this process.”

These are your elected leaders, Democrats. You get what you vote
for, I suppose. Too bad what you voted for is hurting everyone.

McConnell said Pelosi overstepped her authority in order to
essentially screw over Americans:

“She’s the speaker of the House, not the speaker of
the Senate.”

The emergency stimulus package required a vote of 60 senators to
pass, but it failed at 47-47- along partisan lines.

While Republicans have the majority in the Senate by six, with
five of them currently quarantined the lead drops to only one.

The next vote for this bill is expected to take place today at

McCarthy told Fox & Friends:

“What the [Republican] Senators did last night, it
wasn’t even voting on the bill. They had 30 more hours, they were
simply moving the process forward to give this country hope, to
show that they can work together. This is uncalled

This is exactly right, @newtgingrich.

— Kevin McCarthy (@GOPLeader)
March 23, 2020

The country does not want us to be partisan, they want
us to be productive. To me, this is the lowest

Don’t worry, Senator McCarthy.  It’s not just you.


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NYC Health Department issues memo on ‘sex and COVID-19’: “You
are your safest sex partner.”
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